Wednesday, August 14, 2013

I'm An Introvert - 3

It's time for more interesting info about Introverts! This is only my third post in this series, but you all have really been tuned in to these posts. I've found that there are many people out there who can truly relate to the things I talk about it in these posts. I find it most interesting that the bulk of the people who can relate are my followers!! That makes me wonder if we're drawn to people who are most like us because if we are, I'm glad to be in good company :-). It helps to have people who can relate; it normalizes something that can seem so strange to those who don't truly get it. I love hearing what you all have to say, so keep the comments and stories coming!

I'm killing two birds with one stone in this post!

Myth #3) Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don't see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Oh goodness!! How true is this Introverts out there?! After people break the ice with me and really get to know me, it never fails. They'll say something like: "When I first met you I thought you were so mean (or stuck up - which is the description I get the most). After a while, I just came to grips with it that that's just how people will see me. My rationale was because I didn't walk around smiling at everybody and because I had a hard time "making friends" or engaging in "small talk" people took my silence as rudeness or snootiness. Over time I've become better with putting forth a little more effort to smile more during my silence so people don't take my resting-face look as discontent.

The other part about this is I'm a very real and honest person. I expect others to be the same. What I've learned over time is that people don't always want the real or honest. This is why I often times say nothing at all. If you want to know what I think, ask me...otherwise, I'm probably going to keep my thoughts to myself. I've unintentionally hurt some feelings just by being honest. Nobody likes to hurt others, at least I don't, so I have at least learned to try and put a nice and sweet spin on the truth as much as possible to kind of soften the blow of what I have to say...or I'll just hold my truth in and let others around me voice their opinions. People are going to do what they want to do anyway regardless of what those around them have to say, so I'm content either way. Again, I expect people to be honest with me, and this is harder to find than one would think. I've had my feelings hurt a time or two because of dishonest people and it's not nice at all. If we all tell the truth up may not necessarily make it any easier...but at least you know what you're working with!

Myth #4) Introverts don't like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you're lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you're in.

Okay, this one is kind of tricky. I really don't like people...and I say that all the time! LOL...honestly, I do say that often but I don't TRULY mean it (at least I don't think I I just think people can be weird and hard to deal with at times...and it can get kind of exhausting having to interact with so many kinds of people out here in this crazy world!! I talked a little bit about this here...and it still holds true to this day.

I know I have to interact with people or I would turn into a recluse...and that's no fun! This is also crazy because by trade I'm a Clinician/Therapist/Counselor/or whatever else you want to call somebody who helps people (lol) by talking to them. Doing what I have to do for my job is different from my personal interactions with people. In my position, people open themselves up to confide in me so I can help them deal with and come to conclusions about life issues that severely impact their life in some way. This is completely different than having to engage with Joe Smoe at the company picnic.

This myth also touches on friendships and relationships. I certainly consider myself a very loyal person to the people I call friends/family. I can indeed count the number of people I consider true friends on one hand. My best friends and I have been friends for almost 20 years. That doesn't falter. Even though we're miles apart from each other and we don't necessarily talk and interact like we used to, we all know the relationship is the same. When we come back together, it's like we never left off! Same holds true for family. I consider my boyfriend a true friend as well, so the same holds true for my relationship with him. I value all of these relationships very much. Building great relationships is so hard to do because you never know what you're going to get with people, but when you have people who you know are down for you and that you know are on your should hold them close. That's what I do!! I love them all so much and they mean the world to me. Yes, I'm loyal to them. Yes, I respect them and the decisions they make; and even if I don't agree with the decision...I at least know I can truly be honest with them about that and know they will understand that I'm coming from a place of love. There's open communication there. I know I can express myself and be heard. It's been proven in over time throughout my relationships with them all. The love and support that's there is priceless and that's what I value the most!!

AHH...this is such good stuff!! I've had so much feedback from my Introverts out there, so I can't wait to hear your take on these two myths.

Are you rude? Or mean? Or stuck up?? Do you 'like people'?? I want to know!!

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  1. You know I'm right there with you on everything you said in this post! At work I've been told that I'm intimidating at first (really?!?). Sorry, walking around with a smile on all day for no apparent reason is exhausting...I've got more important things to do, lol!

    You already know my take on family/friends so I'll leave it at that!

    Good stuff...real good stuff!

    1. I do know you are just like me with many of these!! In your field, I can definitely see my field, I have to put on a front because I work with people...LOL! Yeah, smiling for no reason is weird, which is why it puzzles me when people say something about it. Now, if I start walking around with a smile on my face...people would poke fun at the girl walking around smiling all the dag on time!!

  2. Love this. I am 100% an introvert and I wish people would stop assuming I hate them or see me as stuck up. Sometimes I just want to be alone people!

    1. YES!! If you would get to know me you would see that I'm a very lovable person! Some people are up for the challenge, some aren't. I've learned to just live with it. It's who I am and I've learned to be quite comfortable with being this way.

  3. This is all SO true! I am an introvert that poses as an extrovert (according to the awesome book, Quiet) and these definitely ring true for me. Loving this!

    1. Oooooo...I'm going to have to check that book out! I can pose as an extrovert but not for very long! Thanks for stopping by!!

  4. Every introvert needs their extrovert :)

    I am a definite extrovert in every sense of the world. But, I can relate to your posting a LOT because 2 of my best friend's are complete introverts and they aren't like "stereotypes" at all.

    1. That's true! In college, the only reason I made friends was because of my extrovert best friend!! LOL. Thanks for stopping by!


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