Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I'm An Introvert - 2

Are Introverts Shy?!

A few things to consider when dealing with an Introvert.For those that have been following, you know I'm trying to get through this series about being an Introvert to give you a glimpse of who I am and what I'm about. There are 10 things I'll touch on that describe myths of Introverts and why they're not 100% true. I'll talk about how these things relate to me, but this is not to say that this is how all Introverts are.

Here's a few things I should have included in my first post: I don't like talking on the phone. I will if there's a need, but talking on the phone is kind of like the small talk thing for me. There are some exceptions to this, but if you get a phone call from me...know it's serious!!

Today, let's talk about being shy!

Myth #2) Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don't interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. 
Don't worry about being polite.
(Mi Note: Do worry about being polite to me. Rude people bother me.)

For the longest time I labeled myself as shy and I still think that sometimes. This rule goes hand in hand with #1. If I don't have anything to say...or a 'reason' for interacting...odds are, I won't. That may sound harsh, but it's weird for me to randomly hit folks up like "Hey, whatcha doing?! Want to hang out?!" If you're waiting on a phone call/message like that from me, more than likely it's not going to happen. Now, my close loved ones get a pass on this one because I can be around them all day long. This doesn't mean I don't love everybody else in my life, because I do. You've already read how I feel about talking so taking the steps to meet up with people means there's something to talk about or do, right?! Right. If not, then you can find me tending to other things and not just that, but I can almost always talk myself out of hitting people up because I know if I'm busy doing things, everybody else is too.

I come out of the house for gatherings (like birthday parties, graduation celebrations, family functions, etc.), but even for those things I'm wondering who will be there because if there are too many people there I don't know I'll direct you back to #1, which makes it weird. If these people are complete strangers, it's harder for me to strike up conversations. If there's a conversation starter/subject already available, it's a lot easier. Let's look at an example: I work with about 200 people. There are a lot of people I don't know, let alone talk to. We work in different departments, buildings, and cities so it's impossible to talk to everybody. I needed something from somebody in another department to do my job. I had no problem walking up to her, saying hi, introducing myself, and asking for what I needed from her. Simple as that! The flip side is I never would have walked up to her, introduced myself, and started a random convo...that's just too weird.

Another thing I like to do is observe environments. When I go into a new place or meet new people, I'm watching. I like to observe for a while before I get comfortable. I want to know how I can act, what I can and can't do or say, and what to expect from people and from those environments. If people were more observant I think they could keep a lot of trouble/drama out of their lives. But hey! Some people like that kind of thing.

I have friends and family that give me a hard time about never seeing them and it often makes me feel bad but here's a few things: #1) I'm very busy on a daily basis, as I'm sure we all are. I wake up, go to work, come home and I'm running from the time I step through the door until the time I hop in the bed. I have so many things to accomplish and not enough hours in the day to do it. I plan things out at least a month at a time and any free time I get, I want to spend it doing absolutely nothing. Also, if you're trying to get up or plan something with me at the last minute, don't take it personally if I can't or don't want to. I prefer planned activities. I may have something already planned or maybe I just don't want to. Again, harsh, but it's the real. #2) The phone works two ways...as does messaging or any other way of communicating. You can't give me a hard time about never seeing me or hearing from me if you haven't made any attempts yourself.

We all have things going on. I'm just not the type of person to go hanging out for the sake of hanging out. After being busy for weeks and months on end, I like being at my house doing absolutely nothing. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I want to get out of the house and do things and there's nobody physically near me to call on, but for the most part, all I can say is hit me up, let's plan something! I'm not mean (I'll cover this assumption in a later post!!) and I don't bite. :-)

There were some other points I wanted to make with this one but I've had a crazy few weeks and it's been hard for me to hold info in my head long enough to retain it. If I think more about it, I'll mention it in the next post.

Let me also say this: there are levels to this thing. I'm not the only one out there like this. You probably know more Introverts than you're aware of! I say I'm an Introvert, but I wouldn't classify myself as an extreme introvert. I'd also say that there are a few qualities that I have that are probably more extrovert than introvert but that's a topic for another day!

AND...
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15 comments

  1. lol oh god as I'm reading your post I'm thinking this girl is talking about me. I am exactly the same way! Crazy. I don't like small talk. If I don't have anything to say I won't say anything. I don't care for talking on the phone either. I hate when people ask me why am I so quiet. I feel like saying why are you so dang loud lol. aprilscupoftea.blogspot.com

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    1. I've said everything you've just said before too!! Especially with the quiet thing. If you want to hear what I'm saying then you should pay attention and/or stop talking while I'm talking...LOL!

      And see, that's the thing. You never realize that there are so many other people out there who are just like you. My and my bestie talk about this all the time. We're so much alike and it's really kind of scary. And I feel like, no matter how much I try to open this Introvert thing up to people...they still won't truly understand how it is to feel and be like this!

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  2. Girl I've tried to be more out there and open up but it's so draining I feel so fake. It's just not natural to me. I've been happy with who I am and learned to just embrace my introversion. If someone doesn't like it oh well lol.yeah they will never understand us smh.

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    1. LOL...ditto to everything you've said once again!! I do it when it have to but that doesn't mean I like doing it then either!

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    2. Exactly! I feel the exact same way. Fake.

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  3. Im so glad that I came across this! My therapist explained to me why I am introvert like a month ago. I thought that it was bad thing but I am totally fine with it. Im just who I am. lol. Great post!

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    1. You're exactly right. I think with age, I've gotten a lot more comfortable with it. I still get put in situations that create anxiety for me (like doing presentations for work), so those times suck and are usually the moments when I wish I could be more of an extrovert...but I'm me. I love it and there's nothing wrong with it!

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  4. This is a great post and absolutely true. I also used to think I was shy, but I realized a long time ago I'm not. I just won't talk if 1. I don't know you and 2. I have nothing to say. People do have a way of making introverts feel like there's something socially wrong with us when in actual fact, we're deep thinkers who observe the people we hang around before interacting. I too work in an office with multiple floors and departments. I'll say hi if I see you on the elevator or pass you in the hallway but I'm not walking up to someone's cubicle just to have a random conversation about what they did over the weekend. i find that stuff too weird. I agree with everything you said in this post.

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    1. My sentiments exactly!!! LOL...I'm so glad you understand!

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  5. Yes, yes, and yes! I love this! I always hated being called shy. I'm not scared to talk to people. I just don't talk unnecessarily and I hate small talk. I also love what you said about people saying you don't hang out with them. I like plans (most of the time) and I hate when people expect you to make effort when they don't.

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  6. I recently took MBTI test which showed the result that I am an extrovert even though I don't feel like one. I got intrigued by the subject so I read the characteristics of introverts and extroverts. it was then that I found out how wrong people judge introverts. so to bring awareness, I have started a blog that posts myths and facts about everything. Here is my link: mythsandfacts

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  7. I'm sure there are people that wish I were an introvert at times. Lol.

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  8. Love, love, love this! I, too, am an introvert. I didn't realize it until I got older that it was due to being an introvert and not shy. When I was younger I got the she's so stuck up looks, but if I don't have anything to say, then I won't say it. However, sometimes I do have something to say, but because it may sound mean coming out I just will stay silent. I like planned activities as well. Nothing spontaneous because chances are I will be too busy to participate. My husband planned a weekend for us and I had an attitude because it was a surprise....I know, wrong, right? Visiting from #TurnitupTuesday

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  9. So true. I'm an introvert as well. I do enjoy being around people - on my terms. But more than that I enjoy being at home quietly reading or something.

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